Raining
Some days Mr. Sun and Ms. Clouds are fighting for the right to be in the sky.
Anyway, the weather in my life? Sometimes I'm good...sometimes I'm not.
Being a Full-mommy has it's challenges. It's been really difficult for me because
I have always been independent...And now I'm taking care of 2 individuals...
I came across a blog that I wrote 5-6 years ago. I know right! But I'm so grateful for the
time that I can revisit my writings. I remember years ago that I also wrote that I will have
these writings available for my children because I think it would be a great way for them to intimately know their mother. To read her thoughts and maybe be transported to how she felt that certain moment, that certain day, that certain time. Anyway, here's the blog below...I also need a "refreshment", revisit the past and meditate.
March 4, 2004, 9:20am
OLYMPICS 2004 ATHENS, GREECE.
I guess if you are not with my home church family then you do not (well, theres a possibility other people in church dont know) i am going on a short mission trip this summer in August for the Olympics in Athens. This is something very important for me. I believe that this trip will teach me something about myself and what God wants me to do in the very near future. I never thought that this day would come but since i was a kid, my parents were kind of saying that i was called for a work like this when i grow up.
Well, i'm UP and whatever God wants me to do, (God help me) I will do it because I have spent years living for myself and the time is now to be selfless. I'm excited! I've always wanted to leave the comforts of home and finally know what it's like to live only for the Lord. AND PLUS, this place here where i am makes me too comfortable and lax in my spiritual walk with the Lord. I've always told my sister that I think i'm going to be poor when i grow up. I mean, my job or what i want to do in life will have nothing to do with having a job that pays the big $. I do not want to be dependent on money! I want to know what it's like to solely rely for my basic necessities in the Lord. Not that I want to be poor. I want to know what it's like to live without what people can get here so easily. I've always admired those people at church who hang on the Lord's promises everyday. Every time i think of people or even myself around me have the luxury to buy things so easily, i think about the people on the other side of the globe who have nothing to eat for dinner, have no decent shoes, have no education and worse of all, have no way to hear of the good news. I think that the latter is much worse. Not knowing that you have this person ready to give you of His wealth and so much more that all you have to do is make Him Lord is worse than death itself....wait, it is death."
So, that's my blog of 6 yrs ago. It seemed like it was yesterday. That blog was particular because I have been looking for a job. I have applied tremendously, written so many cover letters. So far, 1 interview. I need to help my partner, my husband in this life we are living. However, I do not want to give up that time with my son. I want to teach him things, be there in his accomplishments, sing songs to him about Jesus. I'm praying to the Lord for 2 things, a job and contentment if it is not His will. That blog struck me because I was willing to be poor, but that was when I was single. Now, I have a family. I don't know if it is pride or just impatience but I quit my full-time job 6 years ago to go back to school because it was the Lord's leading in my life. Now that I graduated the options are not necessarily wide open.
There are other things on my mind that I can not discuss right now. But for now, a job would help my family. Would it be selfish to ask for a job that will allow me to be home most of the time?
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